I learned the hard way about boundaries. I never really knew what boundaries were growing up. They are very important. Some of my current life rules are:
- Don’t think too highly of yourself.
- Don’t think too highly of other people.
For some reason I have tended to idolize people. I thought people were so great and perhaps that they could do no wrong. Lol. There is certain things you grow up believing until one day your bubble is burst and you know the truth and it sets you free or leaves you greatly disillusioned! For me it was both…
Consequently, I do not idolize pastors anymore, leaders, or husbands.
But this is a good thing. It was a very painful lesson to me as well as other people. I was a fringe member of the group so I was not as abused as the inner circle. But I still have scars.
Just because someone is the leader of a group of people doesn’t make him a dictator. In all groups there needs to be a form of checks and balances so that power is not just in the hands of one man for that is dangerous.
So now I believe in freedom. I should be able to pray to God myself and “hear” from Him myself. Though I am no longer a radical. No, you won’t find me running around grabbing people and praying for them or speaking in tongues. I am much more conservative. I pray quietly. I don’t like the fan-fare or hoopla. I like the sound of silence.
I am not sure what I thought before. My mindset was rather crazy. I am not sure why I thought I had to go to the pastor for any and all decisions I was going to make. That made him more of my god than the God! Now, I know better.
The church is an entity. But we are people. People can do good things, but it’s human nature to error. In my opinion, when leadership errors they really should do something about that. They should be held accountable. They are in positions of power and they have many people looking to them.
Who spends years building a church only to run away?
So I encourage people to think for themselves nowadays. People have agendas. Maybe that sounds cynical but it’s true. If you are in a church or group and something doesn’t feel right, listen to that feeling. You should have the right to disagree. You should have the right to dissent. You shouldn’t feel afraid to question something or someone. Basically, you should have freedom of choice and freedom of voice.