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Esther Bautista Designs

The Artist Within.

Soapmaking 101 – melt & pour spa bar.

This was my first experience with Brambleberry.com Charcoal & Rose Clay spa bar melt and pour kit.

It was a very enjoyable experience. I know I need improvement on my packaging. Hey, you got to start somewhere even if you are not perfect! And Nobody’s Perfect!

This is my latest hobby. I know I change interests a lot. I also know I’m not cut out for sales and running my own business.

Not everything we do needs to be made into a moneymaking business.

There is something to be said for handmade products made with love. In addition, to small businesses that don’t mind staying small!

Mass production kills the fun. But that’s just my opinion. 

I’m glad that God took the love and care to handmake me one of a kind!

Well, this is what I did today… hope you liked this.

Recent happenings…

Chloe gets a new do. I chopped her hair due to mats and ease of care.  And Seth, my son (forth from left) celebrates with his quartet for winning first place at the high school quartet competition ! Way to go Seth! I am very proud of you.

What else to say? I am slowly crawling out of my slump one day at a time. A new hobby I am attempting is melt and pour or M&P soap making. The cold process with lye kind of freaks me out at the moment. And I as my husband likes to call me, am “The Short-Cut Lady”. He often gets on me for liking to take short cuts. Perhaps I should embrace this. One should accept their weaknesses as well as their strengths.

In trying to rethink my lifestyle…minimize…why not do what is easier and takes less time. I don’t believe in multitasking. I don’t want to cram a bunch of activities into my life just for the sake of being busy.

So my husband is downsizing and minimizing. I am so glad he is on this bandwagon. In addition to that, I am not only minimizing with stuff but with my time I spend on social media. I realize that it is rather addicting and was controlling me. So it is time to put boundaries on myself with computer related activities.

One of another weakness of mine I noticed about myself is that I get discouraged and depressed often and easily. I really am rather like Eeyore the donkey from Winnie the Pooh. “Thanks for noticing me.” Acknowledging this kind of makes me feel bad. But then that is me feeling bad about my insecurities.

So I try to distract myself with hobbies and art projects which does make me feel better for a time. And I don’t want to be described as a religious person, but I pray, and try to develop my relationship with God. Sometimes I feel somewhat distant from Him. But I trust He is here. “Thanks for listening to me…”

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For my new soap making hobby. Soap Queen TV…

 

 

 

 

The internet makes me want to be a hermit.

Maybe I am blaming the internet for my hermitage, but the negativity on the internet and in the media really bothers me. I would like people to be nice and be kind to each other, but this is not how real life works I guess.

I don’t like the news and all the politics going on and no I don’t have solutions for the worlds problems. But I think God does and I am not God.

I will be turning 45 years old on the 27th and I STILL have a problem with people’s opinions. I am a very sensitive soul. I have tried to get tougher, but I find that only makes me into an angry person and I don’t want to be that.

But the truth is that the reason life and the world doesn’t work is because of freewill. Humans are selfish, mean, and nasty. And I am one of them. We need God because without Him we have no hope.

Don’t follow man and by man I mean mankind, which includes women. People will always let you down so that is why it is not a good idea to follow them. EVERYONE no matter how great we think they are HAS PROBLEMS, FAULTS, AND SINS.

But I am digressing from the hermit part. I want to live in my own private world of peace and quiet away from the internet, but I am afraid I have an addiction to it.  Just like Facebook, I get sucked back in. The reason being is that there must be some kind of pay off for me in that. It’s like a bad relationship. I want out but I am stuck. Help!

For the life of me I don’t know why I have to share my feelings with the world. Well, maybe I do. Maybe for affirmation? Maybe because I lack intimacy in my own personal relationships. I’m psychoanalyzing myself now.

But I am pretty isolated which may or may not be a good thing. I know this! I was looking for purpose at one point. I will be okay because somehow I have made it this far.

Anyone have a suggestion on what I could do for my 45th birthday? I will never forget my 35th birthday because I got my bellybutton pierced. (I don’t have that anymore.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Idealistic Youth.

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Here is a photo of my Father and I. Our senior year. I sort of laugh at my dreams and goals in highschool, looking back to almost 27 years ago.  Well, I think strangely enough I did accomplish those goals! I did not go back to college for six years. I am a self-proclaimed artist. I am a writer, poet, and homemaker. No I have yet to figure out guys. Lol. I just thought the juxtaposition of our two senior photos was interesting. And wow, look at my BIG HAIR! Oh my Lord. . .

 

Make peace with yourself.

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.”  –Thich Nhat Hanhimg_8330

Happy Birthday to my favorite Doggie, Chloe!

Puppy love.

This is Chloe. She is almost one year old. She has been a joy to my life and family. She’s a pure bred shih-tzu. Always loving and forgiving and overflowing with unconditional love.

Proud bib maker!

Life is hard sometimes and the world seems crazy. Few things bring me joy. One of them is making bibs. I love creating. It gives me a sense of satisfaction. These are my creations today. A creative must create! I was thinking, I really need to paint again soon. Otherwise depression sinks in my soul. Infinite possibilities . . . . .

The Art of Living in Obscurity.

IMG_8582.JPGThe most powerful people are the ones who don’t need to be noticed. Since the event of the internet and social media it seems many of us clamor for more attention these days. I guess it’s kind of like high school and the hierarchy of groups. I have noticed this within myself and I believe I am on the way to conquering it. I’m not perfect grant you.

To be small is to be humble. To carry on day after day doing things that aren’t often noticed and yet being happy with that and yourself. Being the stream into which all the other streams can flow into is a beautiful thing. But it all starts with what we tell ourselves, I suppose.

I am not sure why the thought comes to me that the ones in the spotlight are somehow more important. Maybe some of us believe this from time to time. I know I do. But the fact is that is not true. Every life is a life that is worth living. Every life rich or poor, famous or not, beautiful or average is valuable. All life is sacred.

There are many benefits in not being noticed. Anonymity is gift. Because the downside to being in the spotlight is that you are a target. And it’s hard for some people, most especially HSP’s (highly sensitive persons) to take criticism. And it would honestly crush some of us.

So if you are feeling small today, remember that’s okay. That doesn’t mean you are worthless. Just because no one seems to pay attention to you or what you have to say doesn’t mean you aren’t important and that what you have to say is not important. Relish your quiet, unassuming life. It is valuable.

The two most important things I have learned is: 1. to believe that God likes me 2. to like myself. When I hold these in my heart it vaccinates me against the need for attention. Lastly, I think maybe appreciating the gifts within myself is also important. Live you own life. It’s yours. Do your own thing. Be an original. Well, it all may sound hokie, but I believe it. I just have to keep telling myself these things. I vaguely think I have written on this before and I just give up about that because my memory is not what it use to be. 🙂

Let go of any and all anxiety that you are not where you are suppose to be. You are. Release the anxiety of having to earn your worth by what you do, what you have, or what you look like! You’re fine. You are. I am not kidding. Those people you so admire in the spotlight still have the same problems you do, if not more. No one gets through this life unscathed. But there is hope and His name is Jesus. Welcome this hope into your heart by receiving the grace of God. Don’t worry. Be happy.

 

 

 

 

 

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