I never knew I had the freedom to believe before. But even within the church, I have discovered that there are things we don’t all agree on. Some people will sharply dispute this.

As a wife in a christian marriage before learning about eligatarian views, I did not think I had very much freedom. To me marriage was husband-centric. My world and thoughts revolved about my husband. Even as a self-proclaimed eligatarian there are probably beliefs with that group that I would disagree with. I reserve the right to disagree.

On one side we have Rachel Held Evans and on the other The Peaceful Wife… It works for them. I do not wish to put either woman down in anyway. Personally, I can not read the peaceful wife’s material very long before bristling. For in doing so I am constantly reminded of my husband or focusing on my husband or trying to respect my husband. And that is where I came from. My husband, my husband, my husband. That is too much husband for me. See what I mean husband-centric.

I told God that I want my life to be God-centric, not self-centric, husband-centric, child-centric, or even church-centric. Because I discovered that any god besides the one true God makes a very poor and impotent god.

Life is about learning, growing, and evolving. And I am growing as a person, woman, and wife. I have my own opinions and thoughts and this is not wrong or ungodly. Maybe communication between the two camps of eligatarians and complimentarians has been lost in translation?

I can not imagine that God had intended marriage to diminish the thoughts, feelings, and dreams of another person, namely the wife in order to be a constant prop for the ego of the husband. I think when marriage is working we don’t need to go around shouting it because it will flow naturally as a by-product of joy and freedom.

How could a husband rejoice when his bride is sad because she knows she’s not achieving her full potential?