I think a lot.  A lot! No, I don’t think you really understand.  I am constantly thinking.  This is why mediation is so important for me.  And sleep.  Because during those times I calm my mind and I take a rest from all my thinking!

The other day at church a lady came up to me and said she remembered me from college as “an artist”.  I have to say as I let this sink in I have thought to myself. Wow, I AM an artist! For so long I have thought of myself as a nothing.  And I have mistakenly put my value in what I do, rather than because I exist and am truly adopted into God’s family by faith in Christ.

I see from a human perspective that I like to be valued for being a creator. I want to be valued for what I value.  I value the arts and being creative.

There are so many things that I must do in life that I do not really like.  For example: cooking.  I do not like cooking.  I would rather be painting, writing, or even cleaning the toliets than cooking.  I guess I am quite stubborn.  All these tasks are like a wise man once said, “a jumping through the hoops.”

I thought that one day once I was rich or famous or just rich maybe that I would move up the ranks (hahahaha) and would not need to be bothered with these seemingly meanless tasks.  I am still in the process of rethinking this so be patient with me. 🙂

One of my greatest problems is glory seeking.  And life in the real world today gives you the impression that unless you are notorious you don’t seem to exist.  I exist.  I really do.  I guess I am a bit ashamed of my attention seeking behaviors.  But on this journey I vow to be kind to myself because God loves me!   And Jesus still loved his “seeking to be the greatest” disciples! Truth. Word.

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