I need to know who I am and what I do. Why do I do it? What or who do I do it for.

I realized today, although it should have been obvious to me that I am a visual artist.

I wanted to be a performance artist but I’m shy and not that gifted in that field.

Stick to what you know or at least what you are better at! I think I am a somewhat decent writer. And I think I’m an okay visual artist.

For me I guess I need to accept it’s more of a hobby. But that doesn’t need to be the kiss of death.

I can still produce art that I am happy with as a hobby. I don’t need to sell my art to fulfill my need to create. I am happier when I can create or in other words have MY FREE PLAYTIME. 

I think making something that I am pleased with is what is important because it will be something that I am proud of and feel that I have put sufficient time into.

I have done so many things over the years that aren’t really suited for me. I am basically a stay home mom / caregiver to my youngest who is 12 and has a disability. This is my primary focus in life.

But my side focus is to just have fun and create and see what happens. I like to experiment and see what I get.

I can be too intense sometimes and I have chilled out a lot! I have always been more reserved but my downside was my perfectionism. It keeps me working on a project or prevents me from trying.  

Accepting myself has really helped! I accept the fact that I will make mistakes and I forgive myself for that. But here is the funny thing…sometimes mistakes can lead to something good, beautiful even.