I need to know who I am and what I do. Why do I do it? What or who do I do it for.
I realized today, although it should have been obvious to me that I am a visual artist.
I wanted to be a performance artist but I’m shy and not that gifted in that field.
Stick to what you know or at least what you are better at! I think I am a somewhat decent writer. And I think I’m an okay visual artist.
For me I guess I need to accept it’s more of a hobby. But that doesn’t need to be the kiss of death.
I can still produce art that I am happy with as a hobby. I don’t need to sell my art to fulfill my need to create. I am happier when I can create or in other words have MY FREE PLAYTIME.
I think making something that I am pleased with is what is important because it will be something that I am proud of and feel that I have put sufficient time into.
I have done so many things over the years that aren’t really suited for me. I am basically a stay home mom / caregiver to my youngest who is 12 and has a disability. This is my primary focus in life.
But my side focus is to just have fun and create and see what happens. I like to experiment and see what I get.
I can be too intense sometimes and I have chilled out a lot! I have always been more reserved but my downside was my perfectionism. It keeps me working on a project or prevents me from trying.
Accepting myself has really helped! I accept the fact that I will make mistakes and I forgive myself for that. But here is the funny thing…sometimes mistakes can lead to something good, beautiful even.