Trusting Intuition.

I am on a personal journey.  It has lead me to places where I never thought I would go.  I grew up with serious self-doubting problems.  I could not trust myself.  The irony, I am not sure this is the appropriate word, is that those around me in my circle confirmed to me that I should never trust myself, because then I was not trusting God.

I am seeking the truth.  I am seeking to know God for myself.  And what I am feeling inside, the inner voice, is leading me to believe that I know where I am going.  Logically, I don’t, but intuitively somehow I believe I do.

Now, this doesn’t seem to make sense with how I was raised so I am quite puzzled by all of this.  But I think that I should trust my inner voice.

I love to create!  This is what my soul seems to cry out to do.  But most of the people I have been around often tell me to grow up and get a real job.  They tell me I am unrealistic.  Sometimes I believe them and when I do, something inside of me dies.

It is hope.  Hope dies inside.  I think to myself, why do I have all this in me that wants to come out only to have the world tell me to go to “The Office.”  I am an artist I cry!  My cries seem to fall on deaf ears.

So here I am.  I was born to create!  I can’t deny this.  No, I do not have a traditional job.  I am a caregiver for my daughter who is disabled.  This is a gift.

I still don’t understand those people who tell me not to trust myself.  Because as I have stepped out more and more I find myself walking down a path.  I am not sure where it is leading.  But my hope and dream is that it will lead me to personal peace, security, and joy!


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