Dear Engaged Couples,
You may or may not be aware of this but you are on drugs. You are high! The blissful feelings you have right now are not enough to maintain a healthy and happy marriage over the long-haul of many many years.
The person you are marrying WILL fail you and disappoint you most bitterly. Before you write me off as a cynical married woman please hear me out just a little while longer.
Marriage can bring out the best or the worst in us. It is meant to be a tool to teach us and refine us from the negative characteristics that we all have. It is a tool to heal of us of our most painful childhood wounds. Perhaps you don’t even realize you have.
I hope in the difficult years ahead you will remember this and embrace the pain rather than packing up your bags and heading for divorce court. Staying married after your high has worn of is hard work.
The person you are marrying is not perfect. He will leave the toliet seat up, forget anniversaries, be insensitive, and even untruthful at times. But so are you.
The purpose of life and of marriage is to learn how to love. In order to do that we must practice forgiving over and over again.
Right now, as it were, you seem blinded to their faults, but they do have them. That doesn’t mean you should call off the wedding! It just a reminder to have a more realistic view of what you are getting yourself into.
You may wake up one day when things seem really bad and say to yourself: “I didn’t sign up for this!” Yes, YOU DID. This is commitment.
Being committed to a person is not about how beautiful they are or what they can do for you or how good they make you feel.
Being committed to another person is to look out for the other persons best interest. It is about learning to not be so selfish. It is giving to others from a place of spiritual wholeness, love that God has placed in your heart. It is not a hungry and needy gift given in order to be reciprocated.
Marriage is not for whimps. You must be brave. You must have boundaries. You must have patience. You must have grace.
Life has seasons and so does marriage. You are entering a beautiful season with happiness and highs. But this season is only a season and you must move on from here so that your love and commitment will grow deeper and stronger and that can only happen through tests and trials that you will face TOGETHER.
I hope you remember this should the day come when you are about to give up. Maybe you will look back and rememeber how happy you were in the beginning and think to yourself of the possibility that this season will come again. It can. I believe anything is possible with God.