Foolish Funny Guinea Pig
by E.M. Bautista
Once upon a time there was a guinea pig. Her name was Bacon. She lived in a small town in Arizona. She had always been quite shy. She had a dream. Her dream was to be a “superstar”! She was very creative, but sometimes she had writers block when she sat down at her computer to write. She was working on her best-selling novel about a chicken who crossed the road but never got to the other side because he got ran over by a semi.
She didn’t have many friends. But the ones she did have she remained quite loyal to. Her best friend was Cream Puff, an Austrialian sheepdog, who came to America in 1986 by boat (It was a long trip!). They use to hang out at Bacon’s house and baked cookies together. Well, Cream Puff, did all the baking. Bacon, just liked to socialize and watch. She was rather spoiled and acted like some kind of queen. Their other friend, Chocolate, would often come over and they would brainstorm about their next business venture. Chocolate, was a high-fashion photographer, who happened to also be a zuincorn. A zuincorns is a cross between a zebra and a unicorn.
The United States government had been secretly hiding all the unicorns and was working to clone them, but some maverick scientist decided it would be interesting to mix the DNA of a unicorn with a zebra and that was when Chocolate’s grandparents were born. She didn’t much like to talk about it. So Cream Puff and Bacon did their best not to bring it up.
Bacon recently published her first book. She was very excited. It was dedicated to her mother who had passed away. “Hey, here’s a copy of my book!” Bacon exclaimed as she handed the book to Cream Puff.
“Dimishing?” Said Cream Puff.
“Yeah, dimishing. I made it up. It’s short for diminishing.” Said Bacon.
“Moowahahah! You didn’t do spell check did you, Bacon!”
“Um, yeah. I guess not. You think anyone will notice?”
“Hmm…” Cream Puff would often say that and it made Bacon extremely nervous.
“You’re so weird. But I like you’re kind of weird. You make this world a more interesting place!”
Cream Puff winked at Bacon and then smiled…
To be continued…