I love being an artist.  What I’m learning is that I don’t like the business aspects.  I don’t like how marketing controls your creativity!  Then what you once loved to do and create becomes an obsession with the numbers, the sales, the goals.  I don’t want to be controlled by outside influences and money.  Money has value. It’s a tool.  Creativity and art should be an expression imparted from the Creator.

So maybe this is why my art should remain in the hobby form. Maybe financial success in this area will only lead to heartache!  

Inside I am a snob.  I am so opposed to marketing.  I’m so opposed to selling out to the corporations.  I don’t want to be under that kind of control.  I like my creative freedom.

Just don’t tell me years later I will be a sell out and I will have compromised.  Why is it that making money ruins things?  The love of money is the root of all evils.

Did you get that?  The love of money.  What does it mean to love money?  I suppose to be so desperate for it that we sell out.  That we eat, think, and breathe money.

Some people say it’s easy for me to talk this way since I don’t have to worry about money.  I have my moments of worry about how will I pay my bills, but then I think I’m not trusting God!  Worry is trying to control the situation mentally.  It’s not my calling.  But my humanity struggles with depression.  I’m winning the battle slowly.

I made a promise to God today that I am going to trust Him to meet ALL my needs and if I need to work at McDonalds…I will find a way to work at home!!! 😉 

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